


look at the mirror yeah that's you and you are perfect

by Pomelo_Yumm



Category: Cursed (TV 2020)
Genre: Gawain will help, Insecurity, Lancelot is insecure but it's ok, M/M, Makeup, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:41:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26616118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomelo_Yumm/pseuds/Pomelo_Yumm
Summary: ....Or Lancelot fells insecure about his face but Gawain helps.
Relationships: Gawain | The Green Knight & The Weeping Monk | Lancelot (Cursed), Gawain | The Green Knight/The Weeping Monk | Lancelot (Cursed)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	look at the mirror yeah that's you and you are perfect

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a Oneshot and I won't be abandoning my other work :D  
> Also I wanted to make another types of insecuritys that Lancelot might have.

Lancelot was never considered himself pretty.  
When he was younger, his father had told him that he was an abomination, that he was horrible, a monster. He remembered crying at night about it. But still, Lancelot had never been determined to change his image, he had put on makeup, only once.  
It had been a hot day at the abbey, and the break from a long walk had been pleasant for the weary paladins. While everyone ate in the large, noisy dining room, 11-year-old Lancelot snuck into his room, he had done that a few times already, always making sure Father Carden was talking to the older paladins, or that he was so busy with his food that he won't be able to see him.  
When he got to his room, he climbed onto the bed and took out a small sack from a compartment in the wall. He had found it lying in one of the purifications, next to a young Fey, Lancelot had picked it up hoping that no one would see it.  
He opened the bag and took out the compact. It was a red powder , with a small nicely decorated cloth nearby. He looked at it for a few moments, then tried to see if there were any shiny objects in his room that would help him see himself.  
There was only one plate. And a grail.  
Both of gold.  
The father had arranged for him to pray to them both at night. Lancelot had never been so grateful that his father let him keep items in his room. He picked up the gold plate and held it up so he could see himself.  
"Father says i'm deform, but with this powder I will surely fix myself"  
He took the cloth and began to spread the color over his cheeks, covering his birthmarks. Lancelot did not hate them, but they all tried hard for him to do so. He could remember how many of the older monks made fun of them and how even his father hated them. Tears threatened to flow, but he wiped them away on his shirt sleeve and ignored his thoughts. Then they went to his lips.  
A few weeks ago he had seen one of his brothers kissed with a nun in one of the corners of the abbey, they haven't have seen him, but Lancelot saw how the man kissed the woman's lips.  
So, to be cuter, he had to enhance his lips.  
It was a technique that he had been practicing since he found the powder. At first he looked like a minstrel, but then over time he took hand to put on makeup.  
He took his time, outlining the lower lip perfectly, and then went to the upper one. When he finished, he saw himself in his makeshift mirror.  
Surely if father saw it now it would no longer he was an abomination, he had highlighted his cheeks and successfully concealed his marks, he had colored his lips with dedication. He smiled to himself, the result was magnificent.He wanted to show it to Father, see that he had finally hidden those impure marks on his cheeks.  
He was so focused on seeing himself in the mirror that he didn't hear his father enter.  
Lancelot shook his head, snapping out of his memories. He only remembered his father, he ordered that the plate and the grail be taken away, then his father took, in front of him, his small compact and smashed it on the ground. Lancelot cried again, but his father convinced him that it was his fault. For his vanity he was paying.  
After that, he never touched a single makeup product again.  
So his surprise was immense when Pym and Pecival gave him a compact.  
Lancelot knew that putting on makeup was vanity, and yes, it was wrong. But without Carden behind him to humiliate or ban him he didn't know what to do.  
To say that he had spent hours looking at the compact was a lie. No, he had spent entire days and nights watching his new little acquisition. He didn't allowed himself to touch it.  
And his beautiful lover didn't suspect anything either.  
Gawain was very permissive and as unobtrusive as Lancelot could ask, he hadn't asked what kept him awake until the night and he didn't rummage through his things either. Which the ex-paladin appreciated very much.  
But above all, although Lancelot wanted to put on makeup, he had nothing to see himself in. He didn't has a mirror. Nothing, and the nearby pond didn't provide much help either, he couldn't ask his beautiful lover to get him a mirror.  
They had already been to the market days ago.  
He only had one person to ask for a mirror.  
He found Pym lounging in the grass, autumn was coming so the grass was getting grayer over time. When the healer saw her she jumped when he touched her shoulder.  
"By all the gods Lancelot !! I should have brought a bell from the market too !!"  
Lancelot laughed and leaned back with the girl.  
"What did you need?"  
The feigned hostility was amusing to Lancelot. He laughed a little and leaned back on the grass.  
"A mirror ... I need a mirror"  
"Does the great Weeping Monk need a mirror?"  
It didn't hurt Lancelot so much that she called him the Weeping Monk again, it was better than devil, or demon, or in some extreme cases bitch.  
"Yes"  
His voice was lost in the soft, almost autumn breeze. The little pond they were in was beautiful, the water, the birds chirping calmly, it was so beautiful that Lancelot was surprised at first.That teh peace they had wasn't going to long.  
But now he felt almost at peace.  
Pym looked at him and nodded.  
"Tomorrow you will have your mirror."  
Lancelot could not remember the last time he had been so excited to receive something. When he went to sleep he was looking forward to the morning coming and he smiling with a mirror. For years he hadn't looked at a mirror, he didn't know what his face was like, he wanted to see if it was as beautiful as his lover called him.  
He went to sleep very excited to know what would happen tomorrow.  
And the next day he found a well decorated silver mirror on his table.  
He got up from his cot and raised the mirror, he had never seen his face so clearly before, he touched his nose, looked at his lips, saw himself and did not stop seeing his cheeks, his marks, his forehead, his ears, hair, he was in awe and wanted to tell Gawain about this.  
He smiled and smiled more, saw his partner still asleep and snoring, smiled with his teeth and went back to bed with him.  
When his lover returned in the afternoon from rounds and hunting he would show him something incredible.  
The day passed, the autumn breeze was already beginning to arrive and the gentle winds indicated that the cold was getting closer and closer so it was convenient to bring food, to salt it, the fruits and get more grapes to make wine. Honey and sugar as well as salt were necessary and it would take time to get them.  
Thus ,the hunters and gatherers went out to get what they needed.  
Gawian included.  
So Lancelot seized the opportunity.  
Although there was a lot of work in the town, they let themselves be and gave him free time. As soon as his knight had left, Lancelot went to work, had some porridge with raisins and honey for breakfast, and when he finished he went to his post.  
He sewed all the garments of all the Feys, and that was a lot, he had learned to sew when he needed to sew himself some wounds or cuts, the garments, some of silk and some of simple matter, were beautiful, and Lancelot liked to work on that, along with many other people, calmed him down, even the same group he was in had accepted him, had started talking to most of them, and there were times when they laughed and chatted cheerfully. When his shift ended he greeted his companions and went to lunch with Kaze and Percival.  
Definitely the Soup that Ka'hir made was the best. The roast beef and vegetables were delicious, and the boy expressed it with more enthusiasm than the rest.  
He chatted with Kaze and stroked Percival's hair.  
"Wow, your little hair is already growing."  
Percival put down his stew and looked fondly at Lancelot.  
"I want my hair to be as long and cute as yours."  
Lancelot blushed and hugged the boy lovingly.  
When lunch was over he said goodbye and went straight to the warehouses, the food had to be organized by someone, a few Tusks and himself took care of it. It took them at least until night, when Lancelot finished he went to his tent.  
He had been waiting all day for this moment, he sat on his bed and took the compact, smiled and opened it, remembered his experience with makeup.  
Now that he had one in hand again.  
He hoped that from hell Carden was watching him, so he could see how the makeup was applied.And burn with anger.  
First he began to apply a little on his cheeks, gave small circles, colored and gave a small touch to his cheekbones, then he painted his lips, carefully his lower lip, delicately the upper one. But it stopped in the middle.  
He looked in the mirror.  
Why was he doing this?  
"To be more beautiful." He told himself.  
But wasn't he cute already?  
"No," he thought sadly. "I'm not ..."  
Coloring is finished and now he waits for Gawain.  
Maybe now it would seem cute.  
\------  
Gawain had an exhausting day, he got up, kissed and caressed his lover and then left with the other hunters.  
They had spent hours and hours hunting, going to the mills, hunting again.  
He has finally returned to the camp, he left Gringolet with some Fauns and went to the kitchens, he wanted to have dinner with Lancelot tonight.  
He had wine, cheese, bread and the reheated lunch stew, berries, and grapes for dessert.  
He thanked the cooks and saying goodbye he walked away at a slow pace. The moon was beautiful, and the stars lit up the sky, oh sure Lancelot was already half asleep, he tends to sleep easily.  
He was hoping not.  
He saw light in the home he shared with Lancelot. His sweet lover was the most beautiful person he had ever met. Beautiful, brave, fast, intelligent, he was a beautiful being, full of life and love.  
Gawain thought it had finally been accepted. The first weeks as an unofficial couple have been very hard for Lancelot, he still had the fresh memory that he still did not accept the fact of being homosexual. But with great affection, love (and lots of food), he managed to make Lancelot accept himself for who he was.  
So he enthusiastically opened the entrance.  
What was found was not expected.  
Lancelot was looking himself into a hand mirror.  
Gawain smiled with love and tenderness, but it did not last long when he saw the sad look of his lover.  
"What happens?"  
Lancelot seemed to snap out of his trance and looked teary-eyed at his mate.  
"I am not ..."  
Gawain put down the food and sat on the bed with his beautiful Ashman. He touched a thumb to his partner's cheek and tried to make him look at him. Only then did he begin to notice the makeup. Pale pink on his cheeks and red on his lips.  
"I'm not cute ... am I?"  
The knight's heart skipped a beat. How could someone so beautiful could even ask that, that he was not beautiful?  
Gawain had told him thousands of times that he was beautiful, beautiful and unique.  
So he did not accept that the most beautiful man in the world will imply that he was not.  
He took Lancelot lovingly and held him up so that their gazes met. The Ashman's cold eyes made Gawain just want to kiss him right there.  
"You are beautiful Lancelot."  
Lancelot opened his mouth to say something but Gawain quietly silenced him.  
“Don't wear makeup, don't hide who you are, don't let others tell you what you are. Don't hide, you are your own owner, my love. And love begins with oneself ”.  
Lancelot began to cry and collapsed on his beautiful lover. How could someone as beautiful as Gawain love someone like him?  
Gawain, who seemed to have read his mind ,stroked his hair,and told him.  
“Beacuse you deserve it my beloved. You deserve love ”  
Lancelot continued to cry into his partner's chest, who kissed Lancelot's hair with true devotion. He stroked the man's back and softened the touch on his shoulders.  
"Thank you, Gawain"  
"Do not be thankful for anything my love"  
Lancelot nodded and prepared to find a cloth to remove the paint from his face.  
"Oh by the way, you're good at makeup. You have skilled hands," Gawain finished with a wink.  
Lancelot blushed and kissed his Green Knight with passion and tenderness.  
At the end of it all, he wouldn't need that makeup.  
In the end he was pretty.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like!! it's short but well it was just and idea that I had.


End file.
